Critical and Creative Thinking, Unit 7

Unit 7: Wit and Humor

39. Ah, How I Forgot It!

Exploring the Text

1. Do you think that people nowadays have weaker memory than those of the past? Justify your answer.

Ans: It seems quite true that people nowdays have weaker memory than those of the post. The text says that Lord Macaulay had written the history of England in eight volumes without the help of any book. People are not like that. They are forgetful now. It is because of technology also. Today's people depend on technology for rememberance.

2. What is satire? Select any two texts from Nepali literature and present how satire as a style has been used in them?

Ans: Satire is a literary device of writing/art which principally ridicules its subject often as an intended means of provoking or preventing change. Humor irony and exaggeration are often used here. In Nepali literature, Jaya Bholi, an essay by Bhairab Aryal, about the nature of people's postponding of today's work is a popular example of it. Other's example are Jaya Bhundi, Galbandi, Kaukuti,etc. of the same writer. Keshavraj Pidali's 'Khai khai' is another .

3. How does the author portray the mind of the present day intellectuals? Is it justifiable?

Ans: According to the author, present-day intellectuals need dozens of books around them to write a simple article. They practice many times before giving a lecture. They are, in a way, absent minded.

4. Can forgetting save people from remembering the past tragic events? Discuss.

Ans: No, it's not true that forgetting can save people from remembering the past tragic eevents. It is because people forget day to day chores. They can't forget the tragic past like that of someone's death, own future etc.

5. 'The manners and activities of people are the results of the era they belong to?' Explain.

Ans: It is somehow true that 'The manners and activities of people are the results of the era they belong to. Era means time. And time brings many changes with it. These changes can affect manners and activities of the people. For example, when the printing machines were not invented, people used to remember so many things. Then the time came when books are easily available. Along with books people become little forgetful. At this present time, due to media memory, people remember very little because they store the things in mobile, I pad, pc, smartphone etc.

Making Connection

1. Write an essay on humor and satire by using examples from English and Nepali prose.

Ans: Satire and Humor

One of the things that separate us from the animal kingdom is mankind’s sense of humor. Animals of all kinds know how to have fun; we see it in the way a kitten plays with a ball of yarn, a dog frolics in the water, or the way elephants can instinctively find themselves dancing to music. But what we don’t see is animal humor.

We have seen many cartoons and animations where the animal characters share humorous lines but part of the reason we see it as funny to us is because we know in nature, animals cannot and will not do these things. The fact is that it is only humans who can create humor in our lives.

Studies have shown that there are over 20 different types of humor we use all the time. (1) While there are some types of humor that won’t appeal to everyone but it is a pretty good guarantee humor in some form or another makes up a major part of all of our lives. Probably, one of the most common forms of humor is that often misunderstood, Satire.

In the simplest of terms, satire is the act of exaggerating a specific wrong in order to imply something that is right. Now that may sound a bit complicated so in even simpler terms it can be defined as a type of humor that points out certain weaknesses and bad qualities in a person, organization, or in society with the motive of changing the way people think.(2) We have all seen satire in our lives at some point or another and the majority of us have probably even used it without realizing it.

Still, many people may not recognize how satire can be used properly. It is often confused with sarcasm and parody, other forms of humor that are commonly used. However, one can easily distinguish satire from the other two by discerning the intent behind the humor. The one quality that separates satire from these other two forms of humor is the very intent behind which it is used.

There are two fundamental types of satire that are common in humor. The first, Horatian satire named after the Roman humorist Horace is generally light heated in nature and is often given in good humor with no ill intent associated with it. It focuses on drawing attention to the foolish thinking of society. A perfect example of this is in Monty Python’s Life of Brian where the people who believe he is the Messiah chase young Brian relentlessly, but in actuality he is just a mischievous man whose every movement is misinterpreted and given more significance than it really does.

The second form of satire is the Juvenalian that has a focus on exposing some sort of evil or folly in the world today. This type of humor tends to be much harder to accept than the Horatian. Juvenalian satire is often pessimistic and employs irony and sarcasm to instill a sense of moral outrage or feeling of injustice to get a point across. Political satire is one of the most common forms used on modern society. It is often bitter and abrasive and is more likely to portray its targets as evil or a threat to society in some way. The intent behind this type of satire is to purposefully harm the object’s reputation or position.

Another common form of Juvenalian satire is often found in music that attacks a certain standard or practice. The mockery that the song “Gangman Style” makes of high-class society in Korea is a good example of this type of satire. Exposing the materialistic and money hungry attitude of the culture.

While there is often a mixture of humorous styles in everything we see, the key to isolating the satirical humor is to determine the intent behind it. It may be meant to be funny but it does so either by exaggerating real facts or mocking the weaknesses in an attempt to get the audience to laugh first and then to think about the futility of a particular situation. So, the key to successful satire is to use analogies that the audience can understand and relate to. If you have to explain to someone the meaning behind the humor the entire purpose of using satire will have already been lost.

2. Describe Bhairab Aryal as a satirist on contemporary issues on the basis of his essays, including the one that you have just read.

Ans: One of the leading person of irony field of Nepali literature senior ironist late Bhairab Aryal was born in Kupondole, lalitpur in 1993 B.S. on the lap of father Homnath Aryal and mother Khemkumari Aryal. He had did sahityaratna, Matric in Sanskrit and M.A. in Nepali from Tribhuvan University. Multitalent figure late Aryal in spite of literature composition he had also involved himself in journalism and teaching profession. His first creation poetry Naya Jivan was published on Prativa Patrika in 2009 B.S. He did his creation in Nepali irony field through poetry, story , short story, essay etc . In spite of these he also did contribution on editing translation and analysis of different renowned articles and books. Ke Ke Yo ? Giti Kabya 2016, Upabon Kabita Sangraha, 2018, Rastiya Aahawan Laghukapya 2018, Kaukuti Hansyabyangya Nibandha Sangraha 2019, Galabandi Hansyabyangya Nibandha Sangraha 2026, Jayabhudi Hansyabyangya Nibandha Sangraha 2022 , Itishree Hansyabyangya Nibandha Sangraha 2028, Dasawatar Hansyabyangya Nibandasangraha 2033, Parbeshika Nibandha Sangraha 2063 are some of his famous published creation. Reputed ironist, editor and analyst Bhairab Aryal was passed away in Gokarna, Kathmandu in 2033 B.S. To honor the renowned literary figure of Nepali irony field late Bhairab Aryal and his valuable contribution in Nepali literature The Postal Services Department of Nepal issue this commemorative postage stamp depicting his portrait.

40. Arrangements Settled

Exploring the Text

1. What did Harris ask Jerome and George to do? What was his attitude to the situation?

Ans: Harris asked Jerome (J) to get a paper and write down. He asked George to get a grocery catalogue. His attitude to the situation is he is ready to take the burden and put it on somebody's backs.

2. What happened when Uncle Podger wanted to hang a picture on the wall?

Ans: When unde poder wanted to hang the picture on the wall, at first he said he'd do it himself. Then he asked everybody at home to help him. At the end of the day the picture was on the wall crooked and insecure.

3. Why was the first list discarded?

Ans:The first list was discarded because the upper reaches of the Thames would not allow  the navigation of a boat sufficiently large to take the things they had set down as indispensable.

4. What would Aunt Maria observe in the future?

Ans: Aunt Maria would observe a nice time with her mother, for a week when uncl Poder was going to hammer a nail into the wall.

5. Why do you think it is important to travel light while boating?

Ans: It is important to travel light while boating because if the boat goes heavy, it has the chance to get sunk in water. It makes the boat so heavy to pull. So, we should pack only what we need.

6. Why did George not want want Harris to have early swim?

Ans: George didn't want Harris to have early swim because Harris might not eat more than he ordinarily ate if he swam or bathed in the morning.

7. Sketch the character of Uncle Podger.

Ans. Unde Poder is really a funny man. He says that he can do some work by himself and starts giving order to everyone he meets nearby. He talks a lot and does very little work. In other words, he is a useless and vain person.

Making Connections

1. Jim as a narrator makes a philosophical comment: 'the boat of life should be light because it will be easier to pull'. Elaborate the statement.

Ans: Clues: Life should not be regarded as burden.

It is not heavy thing to pull.

We should satisfy our minor desires and remain happy all the time.

The moment we are happy, life is burdenles.

2. Argue for or against the statement 'Man is the slave of his habit'.

Ans:

Man is a Slave of his Habits

Man is a slave of his habits. Once they are imbibed into the system they are the ones that control a man. It is therefore pertinent that one becomes a slave to practices which would yield benefits galore. Investing into something which have very little or no margin of profitability leads to a sorry state of affairs to be felt sooner or later. It is quintessential therefore to quit all those habits which result in a poor aftermath be it physically, emotionally or psychologically. Tobacco consumption whether through smoking, chewing or snuffing is one such derogatory practice which needs to be nipped in the bud if it even hovers close to your system.

People believe that chewing tobacco is a lesser harmful addiction than smoking or snuffing it. However, the point needs to be begged to difference. Consumption of tobacco in whatever manner is harmful. It does not confer benefits except a pitying dependence once the addiction sets in. So, if unfortunately you are slave to this habit then read on and know yourself the ill effects that chewing tobacco can cause to your health.

Why garner ill will against your body when you can choose to treat it like a temple? If you have been enslaved by this bad habit it is time to let go and move on to better offerings. Choose life!

The best formula of this is: Habit is overcome by habit. If you have bad habit, make another good habit. The bad habit automatically disappears. Don't remain slave of bad habit.

3. Write a short description of a place that you have recently visited.

Ans:

A beautiful place I have visited

The Botanical Gardens is definitely one interesting place that I would recommend to anyone who asks me for my advice. The beauty of it is somehow beyond description. Each flower, each plant has its own way of capturing your soul. Each blade of grass, each tree somehow knows how to coordinate with others to form a picturesque scenery that no architect or designer could ever copy. No best selling novelist or Nobel prize winner could possibly put its miraculous beauty into words. One actually has to be there to feel the magic it does to me, and it still does, until today.

I vividly remember the first day I explored this place. Contrary to my views about it now, I found this place no different from my own garden, even worse. It was still dark when my parents drove me here. Under thick, heavy eyelids, my sleepy eyeballs focused on the twinkling stars blinking at me. They were probably warning me about this place that I was about to explore, at least that was what I thought at that time as I was dragged to my feet after sleeping no more than four hours and to tolerate the incessant comments my parents made on the way to it.

When I was standing at the gate, the land was still enveloped in the darkness of the previous night. And yet, I could vaguely see some people already strolling up and down. How could these old people see in such darkness? Maybe it was my brain that refused to let my eyes function as a way of punishment for allowing myself to be dragged to this place and having to skip my precious sleep. I clung to my mother's hand, afraid that I would get lost. The smell, yes, the dreadful stench I breathed in until I thought I might throw up if I stayed any longer. I didn't, of course. Then, there were noises everywhere, the horrible sounds made by some disgusting bugs, trying to scare their enemy away, I guess; the sound of the monkeys swinging above my head, trying to show off, huh? Well, you won't get my compliments, though. Not forgetting to mention the annoying mosquitoes! They followed me everywhere, just to suck my tasty blood. Worst of all, they kept hovering around my ears and when I made several attempts to kill them with my palm, I ended up slapping my own face. And finally, there was fog everywhere. Even though I could hardly see, I could actually feel it lingering around me, like a deadly ghost which was about to swallow me up. The cold intensified, its wet swirl penetrating my clothing, chilling and numbing me. Oh, God! This is worse then hell, please bring me out of this place. That was what I prayed at that time, and thank God, He didn't answer me.

It must be miles that I'd walked since I was feeling like a zombie, dragged by my mother. It was then that I suddenly saw rays of sunlight eagerly emerging from behind the valley. Within a minute, it cast a whole new world in front of me. Suddenly I saw it all! I saw its beauty; the same beauty that had captivated visitors all this while. I was actually standing on a bridge similar to Penang's prominence.

My sleepiness vanished in an instant as the cool, gentle morning breeze kissed my face and lifted my hair as if trying to tell me, "Wake up, sleepy head". I witnessed those trees, plants, flowers, small hells, stream, bridges, children, elderly people, combining to create their own unique and mirrored beauty. I forgot about time as I let my gaze play around the green of the trees, the pale blue and pinks of the flowers, the different patterns of the grass as the wind wove everything onto different dimensions from one minute to the next.

The birds seemed to be in good mood as they kept singing this beautiful melody until I found myself humming along with them too. I started to jog, surprisingly, without feeling tired. The number of visitors had tripled without my realizing it. Even toddlers who had just learned to walk eagerly followed their parents to explore the wonder of this land. Lucky them! I felt pity for myself for not knowing of its existence until then. I saw some people picnicking on the grass verge, depicting their happiness to mother earth. There were groups of middle-aged people practising their 'Tai-chi" here and there. Serenity and peace showed on their face. Perhaps its their way of relaxing and at the same time search for peace in their minds and souls.

Tourists were seen everywhere. From their faces, I could tell them that this place appeared to be as interesting to them as it was to me. Monkeys were one of the biggest attractions here. Seeing their antics, I couldn't help but laugh. My earlier opinion of them changed totally as I saw them grabbing bananas and peanuts from the frightened children. Some poor children were chased by them. Those fierce looks on their faces forced the little ones to throw whatever food were in their hands to the hungry monkeys. I had to admit they were actually as clever as humans, only more mischievous and entertaining.

I followed my mother along a little dark path. I felt like Tarzan in a real jungle. Seeing the little ants working diligently in a straight line, I realized how I had squandered my time away. Even animals knew how precious time was. And there, in the middle of all the flora and fauna, I saw the famous lotus lake. The lotus with its big, pale pink petals and yellows buds, all squeezing into the small lake somehow seduced me, as it always did to all the visitors. The path brought me to another noteworthy place, the orchidarium - an enormous cage full of hundreds of species of orchids from all over the world. Trailing down the tarred path, I reached the cactus farm. It still amazes me now that such large cactus can be planted in Malaysia.

I spent almost three hours just observing the natural beauty created by the hand of God. When I walked out of the Botanical Gardens, I took a quick look around. Mother Nature has now been so badly damaged and polluted that humans find it so uncomfortable to live in this place. Thus, their only effort•to preserve the treasures of Mother Nature is by creating and maintaining the Botanical Gardens.

41. The Story of an Hour

Exploring the Text

1. What does the writer tell us about Mrs. Mallard's health in the opening paragraph? Why are her family members so concerned about her reaction to her husband's death?

Ans: Mrs. Mallard was afflicted with a heart trouble. All her family members are so concerned about her reaction to her husband's death because they feared of her heart attack.

2. How does Mrs. Mallard reaction to the news of her husband's death differ from her sister's expectation?

Ans: Her sister (Josephine) might have expected that it would be very difficult for Mrs. Mallard to accept the sad news of her husband's death. Mrs. Mallard might have heart attack so she only hinted the news. But she did not hear the story as many women heard. She wept only at once in Josephine's arms.

3. There is a contrast between Mrs. Mallard's condition in the room and the cheerful spring spring day outside. What does the description about the beautiful scene outside reveal about Mrs. Mallard's thought?

Ans: Mrs. Mallard was alone and physically tired inside her room, whereas there was the time of spring season beginning outside her window. The delicious breath of rain was in the air. She heard a faint song somewhere far and countless sparrows were tuittering for the indication of spring. Inside the room, she was lonely but outside there were many thing in happy mood. The things she saw outside the room reveal that her future life will be like that. The window in her room indicates the real window of her soul through which she sees her futurelife.

4. How does she feel about her husband's death? Why? Supplies some pieces of evidence from the story to support your opinion?

Ans:

She (Mrs. Mallard) doesn't feel too much sad about her husband's death. We can say this because of the following reasons.

She  does not feel any heart pain.

She enjoys looking the bright side of nature through the window.

She cried only once for a short time in her sister's arms.

She said many time "free, free, free I" and "Body and soul free!"

She opened and spread her arms to welcome her forth-coming days that will absolutely belong to her.

She drank in a very elixir of life through her open window.

5. In your opinion, what caused Mrs. Mallard's death? How is the ending surprising?

Ans: At the end of the story, Brently Mallard comes in the house and Mrs. Mallard has heart attack and she dies. In post - martem report the doctors say that she has heart attack because of excessive happiness of her husbands arrival.

But the end in my opinion, she gets heart attack because of excessive sadness. It is because she has dreamed a beautiful life without her husband but when he appeared there her all plans go in vain.

Making Connection

1. The story is full of irony. Look up the word 'irony' in the website or in the dictionary. Pick any five examples of irony from the story and explain each in your own words.

Ans: Irony (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

Irony (from Ancient Greek εἰρωνεία eirōneía, meaning "dissimulation, feigned ignorance"), in its broadest sense, is a rhetorical device, literary technique, or event in which what appears, on the surface, to be the case, differs radically from what is actually the case. Irony may be divided into categories such as verbal, dramatic, and situational.
Verbal, dramatic, and situational irony are often used for emphasis in the assertion of a truth. The ironic form of simile, used in sarcasm, and some forms of litotes can emphasize one's meaning by the deliberate use of language which states the opposite of the truth, denies the contrary of the truth, or drastically and obviously understates a factual connection.

In the story, "The Story of an Hour", the last line, by the doctors - of joy that kills, is an irony because she had died of sadness, not joy.

2. Write a short story with surprising ending in about 800 words. Think about characters, tome, location, dialogue, conflict, resolution etc.

Ans: Clues:

The Open Window | Saki

The Necklace | Guy de Maupassant

The Story of an Hour | Kate Chopin

The Gift of the Magi | O.Henry

42. Paul Beatty on Writing, Humor and Race: There are Very Few Books that are Funny

Exploring the Text

1. Bring together what other people say about Paul Beatty.

Ans: People say following things about Paul Beatty.

a. Sarah Silverman: He uses humor like a surgeon uses anesthesia.

b. Sarah Silverman : He is like a demented angel .

c. Common people: He is the funniest writer of America.

d. Common people: Wait, he is not moving around and yelling at us.

e. Kieselayman: He is a solely comic writer a comic genius.

f. Cmmon people: Beatty is writing a new history of the country.

2. Which of the Beatty's literary works is often mentioned in this text? Explore all the information related to the work.

Ans: Betty's "The sellout" is often mentioned in this text.

3. Explain the statement 'When I teach, I always tell the students that something I got out of psychology is to listen to yourself, listen.'

Ans: The given statement "'When I teach, I always tell the students that something I got out of psychology is to listen to yourself, listen' is clear and has straight meaning. This sentence is said by Betty. He simply means that if we don't listen to ourselves, we cannot do the best in our work. This is the theory of psychology, too. So, listen ot yourself and do the work.

Making connection

1. Find a humorous novel (eg. Three Men in a Boat) and review it critically.

Ans:

Book Review: ‘Three Men In A Boat’ by Jerome K. Jerome

by Chaarvi Badani on Nov 22, 2012

Language: English
Format: Paperback
ISBN: 9788171674039
Pages: 224
Price: 95

British humor is often hard to grasp for Indians, with their references and rambling. But Jerome K. Jerome hits the nail on the head with ‘Three Men In A Boat‘ and brings out British absurdities and traditions in a comic way. This book though meant to be a travelogue of sorts ended up, inexplicable as one of the most loved funny stories of all time. And even after 100+ years since publishing, the jokes remain fresh and witty!

It outlines the story of three men – Jerome and his two friends, Harris and George and their dog, a fox terrier called Montmorency on their holiday on the River Thames in Oxford, England as the three men suffer from some weird ailment. So they set themselves off on a trip to cure themselves – a boating trip. Apparently, that was quite common in those times, which is around 1889 when the book was published. The travelogue portion is quite apparent as along the trip, Jerome mentions all the villages and landmarks they pass, such as Hampton Court Palace, Hampton Church, Monkey Island, Magna Carta Island, Marlow etc and the few titbits about the culture in those places.

But this, though intended to be the main part of the book was overshadowed by the comic instances that cropped up and the book gave up and now is just a humorous tale. Jerome often digresses and starts off random anecdotes and ponders upon life. From friends to friends-of-friends to historic characters, Jerome’s detours truly know no bounds. He gives up brilliant character sketches of not only Harris and George, but of Montmorency also. From how his Aunt Podger used to take a week long refuge at her mother’s place when Uncle Podger donned the role of a handyman trying to fix “little” things in the house to how the making of Irish Stew from all the leftovers compelled Montmorency to add his bit by bringing a dead-water rat, each episode will leave you giggling in delight. And the best is that it describes the common frustrations of life that you and I go through.

The downside of the book is that the return journey back up the Thames is wrapped up in just one chapter which leaves you slightly hurt and bewildered at the sudden ending. But the wry and sarcastic humour and wit with the misadventures, exaggerations, mad caps, twists and sheer silliness in this P. G Wodehouse-y book leaves you pleasantly happy at the end. Of course, one can’t help but read this book in a proper British accent. Be it in their heads, or out loud. And that would be perfectly fine.

43. Humorous and Witty Anecdotes

Exploring the Text

1. Why does the seductive young actress want to have a baby with Bernard Shaw's brain not with his beauty?

Ans: The seductive young actress wants to have a baby with Bernard Shaw's brain not with his beauty in the hope that they would have a baby with her beauty and his brain.

2. Imagine a child with Bernard Shaw's beauty and actress's brain. Describe the child in ten sentences.

Ans: If there is a child with Bernard shaw's beauty and the actress's brain, the child will be completely useless. He /She will be ugly to look at and mindless in activities. The child will neither be liked by other people, nor will develop his /her personality.

3. Why do you think Mark Twain did not tell the barber that he himself was Mark Twain? What does this tell about Twain's nature?

Ans: Mark twain did not tell the barber that he himself was Mark Twain because he wants to check the others' views of himself. He wants to know the ideas of common people on him. This tells that Twain's nature is quite funny, hilarious and he is a clever man.

4. Choose one of the jokes from above and rewrite it in your own words. Compare your version with the original one and mark the difference.

Ans: A man asks a beggar if he gambles or drinks with the money he gets from begging. The beggar replies that he neither drinks nor gambles. Then the  man asks the beggar to visit to his (man's) home because he (the man) wants to show his wife that the person who neither drinks nor gambles become a beggar.

Making Connection

1. Browse the Internet and collect any three humorous anecdotes about Albert Einstein?

Ans: 15 Funny Jokes About Einstein and Relativity

Updated on October 10, 2017

Let me tell you what I look like

Albert Einstein at a Glance

Who is Albert Einstein? Most people know him as a super genius: the most brilliant scientist who ever lived. Albert Einstein (1879-1955) was a German-American physicist who won the Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. He was a mathematics professor at the Institute for Advanced Study at Princeton.

He is best known for his mass–energy equivalence equation (E=mc²⁾ and famous relativity theory. He also had a great sense of humor, and was famously caught on camera sticking out his tongue. In wider culture, the name "Einstein" has become synonymous with genius.

Funny and Naughty Childhood

Einstein was not considered a smart student when he was a kid. He was actually unable to speak fluently until he was 12 years old. He was a naughty boy with unruly hair. His troublesome behavior in class and out earned him the nickname, “Rotterdam Rotter.”

Out of school, he became a celebrated musician and slapstick comedian. But his incorrigible Kleptomania, (he stole his friends' stuff) got him kicked out of entertainment. Eventually, he returned to academics and soon showed his intelligence.

Little Einstein

Einstein Loved Jokes

Albert Einstein had a well-known sense of humor and sometimes taunted his teachers and, later, his fellow scientists. He was particularly smart with words. Einstein was able to explain difficult concepts with simple illustrations, and often added humor as well. He made hundreds of jokes and funny quotes about many topics.

Jokes on Relativity

1. Relativity Friend

Einstein walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll take a beer, and a beer for my friend, Heisenberg."

The bartender looks around and asks, "Is your friend here?"
"Well," says Einstein, "he is and he isn't."

2. Second Greatest Contribution

Einstein's second greatest contribution: he said that when he was cooking soup and also wanted a soft-boiled egg, he would add the egg to the soup and thereby have one less pot to wash.

3. Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

A six-year-old boy spotted Albert Einstein walking down the street and decided to try out his favorite joke on him. "Mr. Einstein! Why did the chicken cross the road?"

To which the famous physicist replied, "My young burgeoning mind, zee question does not have a definite anzer. Vether zee chicken crossed zee road or zee road crossed zee chicken depends on your frame of reference."

Einstein Funny Face

4. Einstein's Vacation to Mexico

Albert Einstein had just about finished his work on the theory of special relativity when he decided to take a break and go on vacation to Mexico. So he hopped on a plane and headed to Acapulco. Each day, late in the afternoon, sporting dark sunglasses, he walked in the white Mexican sand and breathed in the fresh Pacific sea air.

On the last day, he paused during his stroll to sit down on a bench and watch the sunset. When the large orange ball was just disappearing, a last beam of light seemed to radiate toward him. The event brought him back to thinking about his physics work. "What symbol should I use for the speed of light?" he asked himself. The problem was that nearly every Greek letter had been taken for some other purpose.

Just then, a beautiful Mexican woman passed by. Albert Einstein just had to say something to her. Almost out of desperation, he asked as he lowered his dark sunglasses, "Do you not zink zat zee speed of light is very fast?" The woman smiled at Einstein (which, by the way, made his heart sink) and replied, "Si." And now you know the rest of the story. (Explanation: the symbol for the speed of light is c).

Jokes on Absent-mindedness

5. Einstein Lost His Ticket

Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.

The conductor said, "Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it."

Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

The conductor rushed back and said, "Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one."

Einstein looked at him and said, "Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going."

6. Einstein on a Train

A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks, “Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?” There also a similar story in which Einstein himself asks the conductor, "Excuse me, does New York stop by this train?"

7. I'm not Sure

Albert Einstein and Werner Heisenberg were out walking in the country conversing at length on the subject of physics.

After some time, Einstein said, "Werner, stop a minute."

Both men stopped walking and Heisenberg asked, "What is it, Albert?" "

Einstein responded, "I have been so immersed in thought that I have not been paying attention. Where are we?"

Heisenberg replied, "I'm not sure."

Jokes about Einstein as Lecturer

8. Einstein’s Chauffeur

This is a true-life anecdote about Albert Einstein and his theory of relativity. After having propounded his famous theory, Albert Einstein would tour the various Universities in the United States, delivering lectures wherever he went. He was always accompanied by his faithful chauffeur (driver), Harry, who would attend each of these lectures while seated in the back row.

One fine day, after Einstein had finished a lecture and was coming out of the auditorium into his vehicle, Harry addressed him. He said, “Professor Einstein, I’ve heard your lecture on Relativity so many times that if I were ever given the opportunity, I would be able to deliver it to perfection myself!”

“Very well,” replied Einstein, “I’m going to Dartmouth next week. They don’t know me there. You can deliver the lecture as Einstein, and I’ll take your place as Harry!” And so it went to be. Harry delivered the lecture without a word out of place while Einstein sat in the back row playing “chauffeur” and enjoying a snooze for a change.

Just as Harry was descending from the podium, however, one of the research assistants intercepted him and began to ask him a question on the theory of relativity, one that involved a lot of complex calculations and equations.

Harry replied to the assistant, “The answer to this question is very simple! In fact, it’s so simple that I’m going to let my chauffeur answer it!”

9. Exam Questions

In the period when Einstein was active as a professor, one of his students once came to him and said, "The questions of this year's exam are the same as last year!"

"True," Einstein said, "but this year all the answers are different."

10. Worth Teaching

Einstein once said that it would be hard to teach in a co-ed college since guys would only look at the girls and not listen to the teacher. His students objected that they would listen to him very attentively, forgetting about any girls. "But such guys won't be worth teaching," replied the great man.

11. Wrong Words

Einstein was talking to one of his colleagues about quantum mechanics. The colleague kept using classical terms to discuss the quantum phenomena.

Einstein finally said (something to the effect), "I can't be sure that I understand you because you are using the wrong words."

2. Write any two amusing anecdotes about yourself or any person you know.

Ans: See Q. No. 3 below

3. Write two jokes in English and crack them in the class.

Ans:

Q: What has a foot but no legs?
A: A snail

Q: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?
A: Nothing

Q: What comes down but never goes up?
A: Rain

Q: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A: A candle

Q: Mary’s father has 5 daughters – Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the fifth daughters name?
A: If you answered Nunu, you are wrong. It’s Mary!

Q: How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?
A: It can have a hole in it.

Q: In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink!
What color were the stairs?
A: There weren’t any stairs, it was a one story house!

Q: A dad and his son were riding their bikes and crashed. Two ambulances came and took them to different hospitals. The man’s son was in the operating room and the doctor said, “I can’t operate on you. You’re my son.”
How is that possible?
A: The doctor is his mom!

Q: What goes up when rain comes down?
A: An umbrella!

Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’

Q: If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I?
A: A fire!

Q: Throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?
A: Corn on the cob, because you throw away the husk, cook and eat the kernels, and throw away the cob.

Q: What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A: Short

Q: What travels around the world but stays in one spot?
A: A stamp!

Q: What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in one thousand years?
A: The letter M

Q: What has 4 eyes but can’t see?
A: Mississippi

Q: If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?
A: A Secret.

Q: Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?
A: EMPTY

Q: What has hands but can not clap?
A: A clock

Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold.

Q: A house has 4 walls. All of the walls are facing south, and a bear is circling the house. What color is the bear?
A: The house is on the north pole, so the bear is white.

Q: What is at the end of a rainbow?
A: The letter W!

Q: What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?
A: His breath!

Q: What starts with the letter “t”, is filled with “t” and ends in “t”?
A: A teapot!

Q: What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?
A: Silence.

Q: You walk into a room with a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. Which do you light first?
A: The match.

Q: A man was driving his truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. Up ahead, a woman was crossing the street. How did he see her?
A: It was a bright and sunny day!

Q: What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?
A: A palm!

Q: If an electric train is travelling south, which way is the smoke going?
A: There is no smoke, it’s an electric train!

Q: You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?
A: You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.

Q: What has one eye but cannot see?
A: A needle

Q: A man leaves home and turns left three times, only to return home facing two men wearing masks. Who are those two men?
A: A Catcher and Umpire.

Q: Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?
A: Neither, they both weigh one pound!

                                                                        Best of Luck